Goodbye, My Sweet

Posts Tagged ‘addiction

I cannot believe the amount of time I spent thinking about diet soda today. My favorite is caffeine free diet Dr. Pepper but I like caffeine free diet Coke. I kept myself hydrated with water. I had a couple cups of coffee with Half & Half and Truvia. That was so satisfying.

I imagined the taste of the Dr. Pepper and how sweet it is. It really has a complex combination of flavors. It’s sweeter than Diet Coke. I could imagine the feel of sweet liquid cooling my throat. I miss it so.

It’s been only four days. Four frakking days. I told myself I would commit to 30 days just to see what would happen. Now I’m thinking that if I can hold out for seven days that will be amazing. I really want to pull this off but if I don’t lose weight it may not be worth it. Oh, yeah.  That’s the point of all this. I want diminish cravings for sweets because I want to lose weight. This is harder than resisting cookies or ice cream.

I feel like something is missing. All day long I felt like I’d lost something. I felt as if I were in mourning.  That’s the only way I can put it. Why am I putting myself through this? Really. Is it really worth the aggravation? Does it really matter?

I wanted to get rid of my sweet tooth. I’ve convinced myself that I need to do this. But is it really necessary? Do I really want to deny myself this little pleasure?

I’ve been thirsty all day and no amount of water seemed to quench it. I was looking for something that I couldn’t find in water. Talk about one day at a time. Now I’m convinced that I have some kind of addiction that is fed by sugar and aspartame.

For breakfast I had a cup of coffee with 2 TBSP. of half & half and 2 TBSP. of coconut oil. It was a very large cup of coffee.  Around 11:00 am my stomach rumbled so loud my co-workers heard it. I had a nice piece of crustless quiched for lunch that was – oh, so – satisfying.  Chicken breast and veggies for dinner.  And I was less grumpy.

Today’s been the first day in seven weeks that I did not ingest sugar. Hunger pangs plagued me all day. I’ve been cranky and irritable. My mind wandered back to yesterday’s Superbowl cake with mounds of frosting.  I want some so badly, it’s insane.

After all the experimentation with all the commercial/fad diets out there, I know this is the right course of action for me. But I could dive into a vat of pudding.

Affirmation: I am strong and patient. This, too, shall pass.