Goodbye, My Sweet

Posts Tagged ‘diet soda

The withdrawal symptoms have subsided and I’m feeling much better. Before there was this constant craving that gnawed at me. I’ve also found that that obsessive thinking about food has gone away as well. You know, that constant, “What can I eat? What can I EAT!” feeling. I attribute this to being achieving ketosis.

I believe that staying way from the diet sodas and the Splenda has helped to curb the desire for sweets.  I didn’t like Truvia when I first tried it because it didn’t tasted sweet enough for me. Now Truvia tastes good to me and I’m cutting down because even that’s too sweet if I put too much in my coffee or my flavored sparkling water. As sweet as Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke could be they were never be too sweet for me.  Even lots of Splenda in my coffee never got to be too sweet.  I never knew there could be such a thing as too sweet.

BTW, I’ve lost a couple of pounds in the last week.

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I cannot believe the amount of time I spent thinking about diet soda today. My favorite is caffeine free diet Dr. Pepper but I like caffeine free diet Coke. I kept myself hydrated with water. I had a couple cups of coffee with Half & Half and Truvia. That was so satisfying.

I imagined the taste of the Dr. Pepper and how sweet it is. It really has a complex combination of flavors. It’s sweeter than Diet Coke. I could imagine the feel of sweet liquid cooling my throat. I miss it so.

It’s been only four days. Four frakking days. I told myself I would commit to 30 days just to see what would happen. Now I’m thinking that if I can hold out for seven days that will be amazing. I really want to pull this off but if I don’t lose weight it may not be worth it. Oh, yeah.  That’s the point of all this. I want diminish cravings for sweets because I want to lose weight. This is harder than resisting cookies or ice cream.

To make up for the diet soda I’ve been drinking tea with stevia. I found a flavored sparkling water that I like but I add a packet of Truvia. Am I defeating the purpose? Should I just go back to drinking diet soda to make me happy? I’m still craving something sweet. I’m still trying to make up for something. Is it a hole in my soul or a hole in my way of eating?

I’m following a gut feeling here. Every instinct in my body tells me that I’m doing the right thing. But is it instinct or is is perfectionism? All my life I tried to be a “good girl”, do everything just right. If I made the slightest mistake I considered my efforts wasted. Mistake =  failure.

If I’m a “good girl” and don’t eat any of the “bad stuff” will I be rewarded? Will I finally deserve to lose weight, to be thin?

I feel like something is missing. All day long I felt like I’d lost something. I felt as if I were in mourning.  That’s the only way I can put it. Why am I putting myself through this? Really. Is it really worth the aggravation? Does it really matter?

I wanted to get rid of my sweet tooth. I’ve convinced myself that I need to do this. But is it really necessary? Do I really want to deny myself this little pleasure?

I’ve been thirsty all day and no amount of water seemed to quench it. I was looking for something that I couldn’t find in water. Talk about one day at a time. Now I’m convinced that I have some kind of addiction that is fed by sugar and aspartame.