Goodbye, My Sweet

Posts Tagged ‘Stevia

It’s been about three weeks that I’ve been off the artificial stuff. I had some saccharine today because I didn’t have any Stevia on me. That hasn’t been the  hard part. It’s the sugar that’s been killing me.  I just want Sweetness so bad! So I’m off the artificial stuff but I’m eating the real stuff. How stupid is that? I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I’m struggling so badly with this.

And I have to ask myself again, should I be making such a big deal about the artificial stuff if it keeps me off the real stuff? I’m certainly not losing any weight. I’m just so frustrated. And I just want to eat. And eat.

The withdrawal symptoms have subsided and I’m feeling much better. Before there was this constant craving that gnawed at me. I’ve also found that that obsessive thinking about food has gone away as well. You know, that constant, “What can I eat? What can I EAT!” feeling. I attribute this to being achieving ketosis.

I believe that staying way from the diet sodas and the Splenda has helped to curb the desire for sweets.  I didn’t like Truvia when I first tried it because it didn’t tasted sweet enough for me. Now Truvia tastes good to me and I’m cutting down because even that’s too sweet if I put too much in my coffee or my flavored sparkling water. As sweet as Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke could be they were never be too sweet for me.  Even lots of Splenda in my coffee never got to be too sweet.  I never knew there could be such a thing as too sweet.

BTW, I’ve lost a couple of pounds in the last week.

As I’ve said before, I’ve been using Stevia and Truvia. Well, I’ve been using a lot of Stevia and Truvia. Is it really worth the expense? I really have to do some kind of cost benefit analysis here.  I haven’t lost any weight. I’m spending more more on groceries. I’m not sure that there’s any great advantage to this experiment of mine.

Of course I could just stop using all sweetners and that is the ultimate goal here. So I guess this is a step towards that goal. So I’ve got to have faith.

To make up for the diet soda I’ve been drinking tea with stevia. I found a flavored sparkling water that I like but I add a packet of Truvia. Am I defeating the purpose? Should I just go back to drinking diet soda to make me happy? I’m still craving something sweet. I’m still trying to make up for something. Is it a hole in my soul or a hole in my way of eating?

I’m following a gut feeling here. Every instinct in my body tells me that I’m doing the right thing. But is it instinct or is is perfectionism? All my life I tried to be a “good girl”, do everything just right. If I made the slightest mistake I considered my efforts wasted. Mistake =  failure.

If I’m a “good girl” and don’t eat any of the “bad stuff” will I be rewarded? Will I finally deserve to lose weight, to be thin?

I used Truvia in my coffee today instead of Splenda. Seemed to me that something was missing. I didn’t feel complete. Interestingly, I found that I wasn’t really interested in a second cup of coffee at work.

After dinner I had decaf with Truvia and some coconut butter. Yum.

Honestly, I’m afraid to try the Stevia I have in the cabinet because of the after taste. I don’t know why I even bought it.  My thinking at the time was that I should try Stevia because Truvia was “corporate” stevia. You know, agri-business co-opting something natural and beautiful and using it to exploit the little guy. Yeah, I’m a bit of a lefty.